FINDING NEVERLAND :)

Amar left to watch the movie , which was on due for long time. He was waiting for this movie from long time, and finally it hits on the screens. He just had one or two friends in the college. And after joining the job, he justs goes to office, does his work and leaves to home. He did quit alcohol as he didn't had any social companions to drink with. He thinks , alcohol is meant to be shared with the persons you are emotionally attached with, and he didn't had any after leaving the college. But he couldn't quit the cigarettes , because he feels cigarettes are the companions with whom you can share your solitude with.



His life was going routine and he was pretty ok with it. "Mighty heart" was really superb and it did really hit him right on the nerves. Why does this al qaeda and other groups do these things and what is their objective? Ruthless killing of people for their demands.His mind started wavering. When would the world be filled with peace, joy and happiness, with no bloodshed killing.Why does always good people have to be the victims.



He was completely driven to thoughts while driving and couldnt see on the truck coming from the far end, and when it came really close, His nerve impulses started responding and showing reflex arcs. His body was in a mixed reaction. Some of it felt," its too close now, give it up". Some of the other though knew it was pretty close, wanted to put up last effort or the last attempt for rescue. And so due to all confusion and vain effort, his bike thrashed to the truck.He felt a hard blow on his head, and thought that he is about to kiss the death. He just wanted to rewind and go back to see what has he had done till now, before kissing the death. He remembered him being the class topper once, his parents which he could never forget and then his college friends then his job. Thats it. He pitied himself for having such a worthless life.He was skeptical about missing something, and he did. Suddenly her beautiful face stroked on his mind.She was the most beautiful phase of his life.beautiful, elegant,sensitive, charming and ...he was looking for words to describe her.But he couldn't imagine they being parted. They were together for two years and then after the college, she was forced to marry some other guy, and Amar couldn't do anything. He lost the elixir of his life. His life without her was pointless.Aah, the time was over , the death came.It kissed sweetly, cuddling him to sleep forever. He thought death would be a hard thing to happen , but it wasn't.


You have done no good, and u don't deserve to be there anymore. He responded instantaneously, I don't want to. Its really bad. There is no worse hell than that.I couldnt get one thing i really lived my life for, and i don't want to be back on that hell anymore.
He felt somebody hitting on his face, and tried to opening up his eyes. It was his parents. His mother was crying and daddy was trying to keep him in conscious. He was taken to the operation theater and this time, he fought with death and emerged victorious. he didnt had any cause to live for, but had hope . His life was at worse now, and there is always something better than worse. He had hope of something better in life. God is really crazy and so is our fuckin heart . It can find the Never land. It can make anything possible. Who knows, he may find the spirit of his life again. May be not in the same form, but something different.



PS: three or four days back, i along with my friend were talking about unexpected death, And this crap came out of that. :)

Being a TRADER

Thanx giving continues and so is my holidays.
Seeing that, there is nothing in particular to write about, i felt like writing about my profession.

I am a Derivative trader cum analyst in one of the leading trading propriety firms in the the world, which by the way in India, no one has any kind of idea about.Everyone knows about Google, Satyam, infosys, TCS but no body knows about Goldman sachs, Duestche bank,J P morgan or Futures First.
Trader sounds so weirdo in comparison with software professional or software engineer which almost 75% of the engineers are destined to become after their engineering.Only the name tag differs over there. Let it be Google, oracle, Infosys, microsoft, IBm or anything.
I was recruited for almost similar kind of job at TCS .

CODING.
the name itself sounds to invite millions of problems. C, C++, JAVA, JAVA++(does JAVA++ exists??). Every day a new version or new babykind of its own with more flexibility and with much bigger complexities.
I guess i have made a pretty good decision by opting to this life of being a trader rather than being a software professional.
Trading life is in fact not always a cake walk. Its in fact comparable or analogical with an equilibrist on a tight rope.It sometimes looks as if u r a disgusted moron,dumb ass , frustated with life. Sometimes it also makes you feel top on this world, The hero of this era.
It makes u feel the extremity , roll a coaster journey without u being anything experienced in personal.In fact, your emotions go that strong that you generally don't feel the emotions. I mean to say that even the big problems looks pretty simple ones after the hard days of trading. It makes u to look on your mistakes faster and learn from it. It says , there should always be a "learning" from mistakes. convert your mistakes to opportunities.

Its really great being as a trader. Considering the tags aspect here too, the Google's, yahoo's and Microsoft's of this profession are Goldman Sachs,J P Morgan, Morgan Stanley and quite a few.
A recent news in some paper and articles made me feel proud about being a trader.

1. Deutsche bank, one of the leading investment banks, had a loss of 5600 crores in the last quarter made by 14 traders(only 14...toooooo much) which is almost 5% of indian GDP in one year.
2. If Top four investment firms, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley , Meryill lynch, Duetsche bank close up, The US economy would collapse and would go into immediate recession and will take atleast three months to recover from recession.when the Big daddy turns sick, the whole family too. It will hurt the most of the nations, which has acquisitions with US.Which implies almost every nation would get affected.where as thats not the case with yahoo and google's.It will have impact, but definitely not as big as by these investment firms. The world's money lies here. and this all is controlled by hardly 200 to 250 traders who hedge over billions of dollars everyday. They "make" the money.
so i want the power to be driven from my side. Though i have shown you zoomed up part of this version, i still want something of this similar in the future lying ahead :). probably the greatest Loss maker of Deutsche bank or Goldman Sachs. :)

CATia 08 :)

Thanx to the thanksgiving celebrations in London , New york, Frankfurt and all over, i got four days off in a row.Finally could find a time for myself :) . Its been quite a happening week. I just got over a sweet haunting,been waiting for this day from past year, but grapes are sour again.

CAT....
I guess this would be my second girlfriend through out my life, though the first one always tends to changes every now and then. I keep trying to propose her, sometimes, through weekly practice on Sunday, sometimes waking up late nights watching movie and finding new ways , new strategies to make her convince that i am good enough for you. And after a kind of("kind of" because if u really work hard enough with your heart, every thing on this bloody hell[earth] is possible, may it be president ship of USA, may be being the richest or anything, is possible) hard work which i very rarely do, I guess i got rejected by her again.(though results aren't out, i am kind of convinced that none of the seven gals will accept my long heard proposal).
There is always something special in this gal friend of mine. Every year, it dresses in new way, throwing surprises, sometimes shocks, and i am weirdo who loves surprises and shocks(though haven't handle it any good anytime.)
Hope to throw out my laziness and put my bum on the chair to work hard enough to make me good enough to stand along with her next year:)

leave stub and live lyfe :)

leave it, throw it,

come out of it,

hurts you, kills you,

why is it a habit??

you are dying,

you arent living,

then whts the point in trying??

you are a moron,
you really suck,
come on, come out of this junk.

would you live with it and die,
to get momentary high,
or get out of it,
and make it really high.

dont look for the reasons,
to get rid of it,
instead get rid of it,
and make the life an eternal autumn season.

Heart :)

crumbled into pieces,
i need to make a way of own,
its so hard to start on,
but i know, if u have for it,
u gonna definitely make it smart.



phases and changes are very much required,
when in , by life, you r fired,
so think of the changes as the optimistic notes,
u have been carrying in your memoir,
which later become moments to cherish upon.



things are best done,
when u put ur heart in to it,
so, give ur best shot to it,
cos, one shot do not miss the chance to blow,
opportunity comes once in a lifetime, u better know.

DOWN :)

Lost in the jungles of unproductivity,
loosing on my passion,
loosing all over the "opportunity",
down at my lowest point,
things reaching at the acme of complexity,
really, why am i getting so dirty>??

i know,
i should transcend my limitations,
i know,
its not worth doing, what you don't like
i know,
Its life ,doing what you been dying to do.


i know,
where am i going wrong,
but , i know that,
in me, i can't bring that reform,
but ...
i don't want to die as a fucking coward.

RAY :)

Plethora of thoughts rising in the mind,
hoping my cluster of emotions to unwind,
pulled by the gravity of the situation,
would i stand on to the expectations.



Iam going numb for the way things are going,
alone iam vexed, iam dying and dying,
but there is still a ray of hope,
the hope that keeps me alive,
Anticipating, for a pleasant sunrise of my own.



Standing still for a bright sunshine,
waiting for a day of mine,
hoping that my day would come,
give your best, but don't always expect it to happen,
because expectations are the causes that let you down,
So smile always , whatever goes on.



PS : Poem after a long time, THis is the first poem after i joined up my job :)

Tagged :P

Well, i have been tagged by Daman.Iam gonna tag 8 other people now and would like to know 8 facts in their life. i felt like confessing upon few things, and here it is,



1. Iam a hell of crapper. I always think one thing or the other. I think on unnecessary things. some times i do feel like iam an over thinker. most of the times I analyze things my way, and most of the times, they go other way .



2. To me, There are two facets of life, they are - living life and analyzing life.You cant reach on to the top with satisfaction and content by following just the one of the two.Livinglife is freaking life, being momentous with life, living life as of for now. Where as analyzing life is like looking upon the future commitments, and hopes.To be successful in your life your way , you should balance the both facets efficiently .



3. The 90% of your success depends on the partner you choose.This is the one of the biggest decisions you make in the life. So, think aptly and sensibly. Dont compromise at this, in your life.



4. I love talking philosophy. I love talking on objectivism, analytical philosophy, logistic philosophy. I hope , my future gal loves talking philosophy . I hope, i talk philos every morning for hours, having a coffee with her.



5. i like to party with my friends, especially the alcoholic ones, because they bring out the emotion element much faster , when alcohol sums up in the void.



6. As my aquaintance and intimacy with the people develops on, i have a bad element of giving leniance to them. This is the bad thing i need to come out from, because , it does effect me sometimes.



7. Though i don't work hard at all, i have lots of hopes and aspirations on me. Lets see, if any of them gets fulfilled :)



8.I have kind of developed my reading and writing habit two years ago and iam really enjoying it. I am a complete freak of non- fiction now and iam trying to stuff up my first novel too. Hope, it gets published :)

INSPIRATION :)

I have been the crappy guy right from the childhood. I have done so many messy things, but hats off to my parents, who chide a bit, to bring a good change in me and have been back at me always supporting me.


I owe a lot to them .


i was really a dumb student in the class, but i feel that ,its really my parents consistent hardwork on me (which is not so easy thing on this earth, consistently trying to make me better ) that made me come up some what better, than i was actually in my school days.


In my school days, i got addicted to video gaming and i started burning my dad pockets. I got addicted to such an extent that i even started picking up bucks from my dad wallet.


There is a crazy incident one day . I as usual [:)] picked up a 50 bucks from my dad's wallet and he caught me, red handed. He said me to take the money and go for gaming. i took it and went out. The evening, he brought me the games player, so that he can see any kind of positive change in me.I was too young to grasp the moral that time.


One thing i have a noticed a lot. The way you are brought up is been shaped up by your parents firstly, and by your friends. The parents do a lot , especially father to bring down the son to the right way, constraining from going into wrong paths, and at the same time working hard to fulfill his son desires.


I had fleed away from my home around in 7th , becuase i thought my parents don't want me to realize my ambition , that is ,to be a cricketer.Really those immature things are the ones you cherish when you get big and old.

Last month, when i was filling up slam book, i got to encounter a question

what are your strengths.???

Its not that i havent faced this question before. I have faced this question quite a lot of number of times,at filling my curiculum vitae, in my interviews and many more times. But, to act accordoing to the situation, i have boasted up so many things to justify myself a brillliant , analytical and yet a down to earth guy. After reading up the question, I was curious and i asked my innerself , what actually my strengths are...


The first thing my inner self said is...

who has been the one who has been with you always right from the start???

who are the ones, who will accept almost any of ur mistake..???

Who will be there to think of you all times, always.....??

Who will be the one with you, who always give, without expecting in return??


The next second i answered to my innerself,
bingo, MY PARENTS.


They are my biggest assets, my strengths, my source of constant motivation, my inspiration.


My dad always tries to make my list of desires fulfilled and my mom has always been the loving, the caring, still treating me as a small child cuddling me.


I know , i havent been the best of the son, but DAD and MOM , I LOVE U. :)




PS: I have written a personal post , after a long time. I just felt like doing it, to dedicate one to my parents. :)

INTROSPECTION :D

i have been blogging regulary from the start , but from the past two months , i havent blogged at all. Probably iam just not getting any particular thoughts, or iam busy scripting for my first novel.yeah, iam stuffing my first novel.It about me and my friends life.Its about all the messy things i have done along with my friends. Actually we have experienced enough of shit to frame a story. The story with a justified ending( i suppose the ending would be justified).I have a got a source to give my best, to vent out all my thoughts, emotions and philospohy and i would never back down this opportunity(i hope).I have read a blog recently, prescribed by a friend of mine, and some stuff of it really moved me. I was inspired to blog again. Blog back again with my frequency i used to do.
one of the posts of his inspired me to write about many thoughts.It raised a quite a number of questions to my innerself and iam gonna ask it till i get a solution.

I hope i have some time machine which atleast give the solutions which are pending on to the future :)

when would i will be content with my life??

why am i loosing my innocence??

when would i be feeling guilt conscious again??(i used to feel it previosuly, but kind of lost my track a bit now)

why does alcohol makes you to to run away from ethics(sometimes, its the addiction iam talking about)

how does fagging makes you feel , that iam thinking and thinking productive??

when would i start working on my dreams??

is there like something, called perfect match?? (how does that comes into lyfe)

am i living lyfe or am i dying slow???(living is synonymous with freaking and loving life where as dying is synonymous with degrading, adulterating)

am i better now or was better previously??

when would i have control of senses, that is when would i quit from my addictions??

when would my decision influence thousands of people, and my good one would help a thousands!!!!!

when would i get my ideas realized(its ideas iam talking about, not dreams)

Does any change in us leads to good???(dont say that depends on the type of change)

when would i stop thinking in transitional way, that is a blend of two,(i want to think about the things in black or white way, good or bad way)???

what is that one thing for which I can sacrifice my lyfe for??

would i be content with my lyfe when i die???

what exactly is a peaceful death???


Iam habituated to loose everything, but i wouldn't lose upon my ethics, my morals.

MOODS.... :)

Compatibility and Comparability


Compatibility and Comparability----- these two nouns aren’t as simple as they look . I have a very bad habit of finding analogies, and applying them to the weird situations. The things that happens to us and to our surroundings makes us to think on different kinds of analogies which in fact sometimes doesn’t proper fit in our present situations. Still we don’t stop finding the analogies and analyzing them. In fact , it wouldn’t be wrong , If I say that these two terms individually and in together are applicable in almost all concepts .Everything. Lyfe, philosophy, science, law, Politics, social history, psychology i.e almost every facet we are dealing up in our lyfe.

Applying to lyfe, the principles of compatibility and comparability ,the goal or aim we are striving up depends on our compatibility , that is , we tend to check over the potential it requires and the potential we have. Here the relative net potential accounts for the compatibility. Comparability comes in the roll when we tend to surface on the relative approach and relative potential and caliber.
I have discover this concept a few days back and applying this concept to various situations has been funny nd retreating.In fact, applying it to my life has been much funnier i can say. :)
______________________________________________________________________


LYFE SUCKS

To be apt and true in my thoughts, this mechanical life sucks.No one tries to do or be the different. Every one is running over the common(partially me too and i hate me for this). Life is getting crappier and crappier. In fact, a degraded lump, havin no innovativity.The thing is , we are trying to be so optimistic in everything, that we are not efforting for it whole heartedly. Infact we all are following the thought
" optimism - a reflection of skeptism.
If we are doubtful , we are no way thinking on to the hard side of it.We are feeling ourself the best without checking over the reality and and our limitations. We all just want to retreat the life and make it a happy seldom without exactly realizing our thoughts. We know that we are Deviating from our morals , ethics, ideas, aims, goals and still we dont work on it ,to make it any better.


PS: I had an idea of writing a post half in half in two different moods. Seems my mental status after the mood affected the post :)

Cause....Existence....God ...Lyfe

Everything that happens to us in our daily mechanical life makes us to think over what exactly humanity is, what exactly compassion is, and is there any existence of GOD, and if yes , how can we strive to reach the God. Is God really an idol, a thought , a power, an energy or is it a mere hope in us which makes us to strive for achievement, perfection, salvation and complacence.

The series of introspection would definitely give us some initiative regarding the existence of the God and its cause of presence.

My* crap theory would give an idea of the existence of so many religions and its divisions ( I suppose ) . I strongly believe in the word “everything happens for a reason and every existence has a cause.

]Based on my idiotic reasoning, I have propounded over a theory whose essence is as follows :.

1.Everything that occurs is because of energy, which can never be created nor be destroyed but transforms from one form to another form which can be termed as 'cosmic' energy.

2. As human faces many problems which can not be solved by himself,he looks for someone else who can solve his problem, that is ,in other words he tries to find out the means which can give him relief

3.we ought to believe that everything runs under some energy which we do not know and may be we can term it as an ‘impersonal god’ and as said, god thing is infinite,no religious god is the perfect answer for 'god' since any religion is limited.

4. If there is a body which can solve the (so-called) problems of all,which can give relief ,then it can be treated as god and eureka, here comes the existence of god, a personal god.

5.Till now no body( anything sacred ) could give ‘solution’ to all the so-called problems, its role was limited and that is the reason why people found so many gods. This means there is nothing like 'god' found till now .Man does not know the exactness of anything. This is the reason for the existence of so many (so-called)gods and religions

6.one has to study every religion and know the reason for its creation, existence and extinction. Then he should try to satisfy its purpose and make his purpose out of it.

7.The solution of man’s every so-called problem lies here, giving no-importance to sensual, emotional attachments and the resultant pleasures and grieves…realizing that they are momentous…thus living the life being non-attached.

Based on the theory above , I have defined over what actually LIFE is and its quintessence is as follows:

1.The real pleasure of life lies in the emotional attachments, and this pleasure is being given secondary importance as we are running towards momentous illusions which enthrall for the short time leaving us behind in the values of humanity and compassion.

2. The exact bliss of life is finding a cause to live .Life is all about discovering your passions, frame an algorithm to seize the opportunity you are really craving for.

3. Reform is what we need to strive for to make the world a much better, livelier and happier place to live in.

4. Don’t tend to compromise with life as life is all about aspiring for the best, giving your best shot to it, succeeding at it and later recalling , how beautiful life is.

5. Wait for the right time to go for the thing you are really desperate for.You would get enough chances in life to prove yourself worthy to deserve the thing you are really desperate for. The ‘GOD” element is testing over , whether your desperateness is long lasting or a momentous illusion.

LYFE.....the magic cycle...☺

Live the way you love,
love the way you live,
the pretty moments ,
the gurgling incidents,
the sniggering narrations,
of the liveliest enjoyments,
the unknown expectations,
continuous fairer sex iterations,
and then its popped out situations,
which later become source of entertainments.

The time you have spent with vodka,
to vent out your frustations,
to bring out your emotions,
this is what the life is,
life without all these,
is just no way close to,
what actually life is.

The time comes when
you are out of the coll"age",
there would be no such friends to get engaged ,
you and your solitude ,
would be your companions,
and your life would be a one dimensional array,
with office and home its elements.

because when you are far of friends,
your are in trans, an unexpected vaccum,
starving for the friends,
occasionally sobbing for them,
sharing philosophy, expressing emotions, experiences,
when you meet them after a long time.

Now comes the fairer sex element in your life,
you work hard for the girl you have liked,
but when you realize she is no more in touch with you,
you think of when & where did you met her first,
get complacent with what you had in the past,
regretting, why do time runs out so fast,
and again think of the moment,
that when did you met her last.

Life just happens this way,
some things goes your way,
and most of the things the other way,
but see the life with a view of an optimist,
to live the life to its fullest.

PS: i was a bit down thinking of the future ahead after three months.When you are emotionally down, thoughts run so fast in you. This is my stuff and i dedicate it to all the people close to my heart.(it may sound childish) Love u buddies.☺

requiem for a DREAM....

It was a great opportunity to prove myself, in the whole life. I have been burning mid night oil to prove myself this time. This opportunity if I prove myself this time, would let me open to my the one dream I have been dreaming from long time. This opportunity is no more than a preliminary but I am in trans because of the fret of proving my worth in this preliminary which would lead to my actual reverie which I am desperate to make it real. I was all done with my preparation for it . I lived dreaming about it, working on the dream until I was content that if I get a chance I have the worth to prove myself. I had ample occasions of breaking the ice swiftly but as the routine part of my life , I let the opportunities slip away from my hand. Encapsulating my thoughts , hard work , and passion would be a very difficult thing, in fact impossible. In fact , I am a more of a day dreamer , because I try to live life myself, my way. That is I analyze things in my way, feeling the element of success every time I get reminded of my passion.

It was the D day I have been waiting for the long time. I woke up dreaming the same dream again and again . I was content with the home work , I have done for this assignment but was feared of losing the things narrowly. This is because I have missed hell of a things narrowly. So I didn’t want to take any chance when I am so close to my dream .

I woke up with my eyes resisting a lot ,to see the world and for the day I have been dying to see. I went to wash basin , tapped and spilled the water heavily upon the face trying to throw out the every lethargy to recharge myself with complete spirit. My thoughts were completely dominated only with my dreams ,dreams and dreams, which if I do well may come out true. The vision of accomplishment was appearing in my eyes.

I took out my bike and started the engine. I was going at a brisk pace listening to my favorite tracks on a rush road. I was 4 to 5 miles short of my destination. I looked at the watch and felt that I was getting late. I accelerated the bike to around 90 kmph , while in the middle of the road , there was a boy of around ten with some wrappers in his hand. I tried to avoid the boy off from my vehicle , but I was too fast to avoid him.I gushed the bike into the boy and couldn’t help out. I felt very much gulity .The boy was bleeding profusely and I hadto decide between my dreams and the boy’s faith , both of which were completely in my hand. I just gave a thought and decided to take the boy to the hospital. I took the side of humanity in front of insanity, that is my long lived dream. The boy got heavy wounds on the leg and was bleeding profusely. I took him to the nearby multi specialty hospital.The doctor was treating the boy and I decided to take the boy along to his home.

I was a bit grim for losing over my dream.I had prepared for it from the past one year and I couldn't show up this year.But there was a feeling of satisfaction as I was doing some good instead of it.The boy regained normalcy by the next two days.

I had a nice chit chat with the boy. His father was a local farmer and he committed suicide last year because of the unpaid debts. His mother makes some local munchies , which the boy sells to make both the ends meet. By the time he told about himself and his family , we reached his home.It was a small space roofed with plastic sheets and the space was just enough for three people to sit up. After listening to them , I came back home at around 8 in the evening.Some of the thoughts of them were undigestable.I was thinking about them the whole night , instead of thinking about my dream which I do very often.

It’s a vicious cycle. A boy goes to vernacular school because his father is a farmer and can not afford expensive English school for his son. Then his son is not allowed to write the final exams because of school fees which remains unpaid due to bad crop this year and due unseasonal rains because of global warming. The farmer is under 3 lacs debt and finds it impossible to make ends meet, thankfully he has a bottle of pesticide which he drinks due to helplessness and government ‘s mismanagement of funds. He dies, his son now is a school dropout but he cant follow his father’s profession because there is no money to restart all over again nor can he end his life like his father because who would look after his mother and 4 young siblings.

The mother makes good local snacks so he somehow manages to borrow few hundreds and asks his mother to make snacks like khakra, chakli, namakpaare etc, which he carries every morning and sells door to door in the city but hardly any one buys it. It not hygienic nor does it have any of those fancy packing. He one day goes to this girl’s house in the city who like the other munchies and refuses to buy it because she prefers “Lays” potato chips over “khakras”. She works in a call centre, speaks English, earns 20 thousand a month and feels proud to be a part of “India Poised, India Shining, India Rising” She feels proud because she is a part of this young and happening crowd of India’s “Generation Next” . She earns for the Americans and then she spends her money on Lays, Coke, Nike shoes and Swiss Spas. Her mom any way has to cook dinner because even if she also is a part of “India Shining”, she at the end of the day has to cook dinner for a family of 4 no matter how tired she is, the dinner must be served hot and fresh. So she goes to the vegetable market and thinks of going to this vegetable selling lady who happens to be the farmer’s widow (the widow decided to sell vegetables like potato, green chili, lemon, ginger etc to support the family after her husband committed hara kiri) . But the lady on her way to this vegetable selling lady happens to see a new super market which claims to sell everything under one roof at a very affordable price. And it looks posh also. So she changes her direction towards that super market leaving this widow vegetable seller waiting for another customer who would prefer to buy vegetables and other groceries as it used to be in the olden days.

This super market is an American chain and looks stylish. People are flocking it because end of the day a wife still has to cook and clean after the board meeting is over. The hard earned money of their husbands are spent on these super markets and the American owner thanks Indian middle class for their generosity for making this American owner more rich.

In the mean time the American super market owner with money earned from Indian middle class tells the Indian Government that it wants to open more retail chains. So the Government which has been elected only by 50% of Indians by will and rest 50% by booth capturing and not elected by people who think voting is a waste of time, election day is a holiday so might as well go for a picnic, who work in call centre and do not get time off to cast vote and the call centre cabbies who have to drop the staff to the company (so many votes wasted) . So this Government procures land in the name of SEZ and retail boom and development and gives it to this American owner at a very affordable price. This land is procured from farmers by making false promises to them, because in any case the farmer would eventually commit suicide and the sons would sell silly stuffs like khakra and not use the farm land to make a living. The widow would need a hospital when she would grow old and frail but there would be no hospital because the land has been given to someone else in the name of “Development”. The boy now would need night shelter to spend chilly nights because he had to sell his house also, but there would be none available, no “anganwadi” available for his young siblings also. There would no free schools also because all land has been given away for making roads to accommodate more cars, more malls, parking spaces, amusement parks, call centers etc. But what to do life goes on, so this boy gets married like the so many out there, have children like the so many out there but where would all the children live? They need houses. So lets cut the forests and cover the sea to make way for our houses and get land and more vacant land. So the tiger dies, the cattle survives and eats more and more grass lands making it bald, barren and lose. So next year of “India Shining”, people die due to land slide, commit suicide because of unseasonal rains and floods, famine, droughts. But the super market building does not crumble due to any of these natural invited calamities as it is made of stuff which are made in Japan. But the American owner decides to try some other market because people here are no longer spending and making him rich since they are more busy settling their lives after all these disasters. So the retail shop, call centre closes down, people lose jobs and the government does not have enough grains in the grainery to feed the hungry because the farmers who were the “Annadatas” had committed suicide long before and their sons dread to continue the same profession.

I was completely disturbed in my thoughts .When would the India really move forward ? When would the disparity end between rich& poor? When would the social barriers in this society die? To me, there is only one solution to this long running problem……

THE YOUTH……….

They have the potential to knock out the problems India has been facing.

LOSE YOURSELF............

Hunger , this word can have plethora of contexts ,but to me, hunger reminds me of a small boy striving hard all the day on the street for a few alms so that he can have his poor appetite once in the whole day . Hunger is the greatest cause for death in the world. About 7000 people die everyday of hunger in the world. For every five minutes, a child below 5 yrs, dies because of hunger.

India is a great country and is growing most rapidly after china in the world. Its GDP is growing by almost 9 to 10 percent a year. This really shows greatness on the part of India and India is been considered along with US and brazil as the most prosperous countries. But are we really moving forward in this race. Is the growth we are talking about is reaching to the abject and miserable to whom its impossible to have a meal a day. I am really poor at stats, but to my knowledge, India has one of the lowest per capita income in the world after Africa’s most unluckiest nations like malwia and Bolivia. India has the highest number of people below the poverty level. India is one of the nations in the world with highest amount of corruption. According to a survey conducted in the western countries, India is most threatened place to live in after Pakistan .India being one of the largest agri countires has one of the lowest growth in it.

India has an epic history of producing world’s greatest protagonists like mahatma Gandhi , world’s richest business tycoons like suneel mittal , great brains like ramanujan , C.V .Raman .We had and have everything what a developed nation needs , but to me the effort is in vain because we are not striving hard enough towards the solution of the problem. The solution lies in the hands of the people, but they are in real deep slumber .

Why are we so busy with ourselves and our problems .Why are we living life to the fullest when there is a hell of problems present , which we need to empathize upon and work in its direction towards its progress. Why are people so particular about their particular things when there are lot of other things to visualize and think over them.

We need to wake from up from our deep slumber .We need to visualize our dreams , and work on them. we need be visionary and should work to be a winner.The thought process of the people should shift from particularity to universality.This is because the real pleasure of life is, when your thoughts run for people and their welfare.The fame you attain by doing good to people motivates you to work persistently for them.

In the recent movie ‘GURU” ,a good movie after a long time, one song captivated me , but I want to modify its lyrics a bit.I didnt like the idea of the song. The lyrics of that song again motivates to a deep slumber and dream. In fact it should inspire to wake up from the sleep . Have dreams , visualize them, and work over them. Dreaming again and again would give nothing, until we work towards it.

Jaage rahenge der tak, kuch soye huve ko jagaane dho,

Thodi si neendh kaafi hain, kuch der aur jaan lagaane dho,

Aadhe adhure kwabh jo pure na ho sake,

Un kwabhon ko hakeekath mein badalne dho.

PS: The first and second para of the post have no relations directly , but i wanted to express over the biggest problem being faced.The subject of my post shifting from particularity to universality.hopin this crap to recieve token of appreciation.

JUNK TO MONK & THEORY OF INFINITISM

Do we really need a particular day to convey our thoughts or our thought process to a girl. Do a particular day is biased than any other day for conveying over your EDISONS BULB .I don’t think so. Wht really matters is appropriate substantiation of your thought process which is very rare .The plethora of thoughts is really worthless if it is completely on the analyzing side and not on experimental side.

you should have experienced junk to be a monk.

That is you must have tasted the bad along with good to justify which is good and why .The terminologies, what , why , how , when ,who are explainable only when you know what is wrong and for what is it wrong.

Is there anything like someone is made for you. Do people go for chance rather than choice in the life. Seeing life from a broader perspective would give the generalized solutions but its difficult to reach a particular solution through generalized solutions and its what we are trying for and dying for.

getting particular to generalized in your thought process makes you feel that you are going mature and sensible. Getting generalized to particular is being hasty and shows your desperateness upon something. It shows a mode of transformation in your thought process.This also shows a sign of you, suffering in the future.

Everything on this world is made of two counter flippant sides, just like the two flip sides of a coin. One side completely counter of the other, one side completely unaware of the other, one side completely unknown and irrelative of the other, one side completely independent of the other side, but these two things in together make infinity,. these two unaware and independent sides make out the things complete ,these two elements in together make out the universal set, this seems so amusing.

The scientists are on search for the universal theory which can explain behind the every human thought , every human emotion, every fiction, every fact, every law.
I really wonder can one universal theory can complete justify or substantiate everything on this world, the way everything is made, the way everything can be made, the way everything can be created, the way everything can be supported, the way everything can be destroyed , but I still strongly believe, there exists such unique theory which can completely reason out all the cases.

I think karl max’s Das capital, Darwin’s Theory of evolution and hellen keller's MY LIFE which deal with most of the subjects fairly , philosophically and psychologically , if get united do have the potential of bringing out the universal theory –Theory of infinity. The theory of infinitism , the universal theory will be able to explain the every human emotion in its own way, defining over the every odd human emotion in the way we want it to be.

Sometimes I wonder is everything that happening around are mutually exclusive events or independent events and the conclusion I have reached upon is everything is related , that is ,all events are dependent on the success of relying event. The events are inter dependent and the success of one event relies on the success of the dependent event which in itself explains that everything in this world is made of two counter flippant sides and those two sides in together make out the universal set but the problem lies here is , the probability of success is always very less,most of the times tending to zero.

Such a low probability event makes the life more a struggle than a cake walk. Life is no way a cake walk. Its our struggle for making the interdependent events successful, in order to make our one successful.

The other way of percepting is an analogy.

Life seems to be a struggle between fantasy and reality .The more we try to be in the fantasy world, the more it pushes or drags us to the unpleasant reality. But we want to be a part of this sucking struggle saga of reality and make this reality transform into the fantasy we desire to.

Considering reality our event and the fantasy , the event whom success we are relying upon. As the counter independent event is fantasy, its almost very low chance of getting it happened and we found ourselves struggling between fantasy and reality.

Living life to the fullest in itself seems to be the most banal and hackneyed cliche .There is nothing like living life to the fullest. You just seem to extract something satisfactory out of the nothing. Analyzing the life with perspective is much more than living the life. Analyzing life seems to be a practical expression with a sprinkles of living life.

Analyzing over things is really enjoyable than living life, because , while analyzing we think the things our way and hence feel the element of success .

Based on my observation and analysis I have made till now , I have framed laws which are completely crap and are based on the experience till now.

Law of Transformation: The Transformation in human thinking can be categorized two ways and the following deductions can be made depending upon the mode of thinking he delves into.

If his thinking transforms from generalization to specific, he gonna face the bad music..The journey ahead wouldn’t be a cake walk.

If his thinking transforms from specific to general, he is learning from his mistakes,he is thinking good, thinking well enough matured, or at least seeming to think matured.

When you are in a real strong dilemma or trilemma [:)] and you need to make a decision(sometimes you are not required to make a decision though ), just close up your eyes and think about the thing you are striving for.Assert over the thing and decide , are you really deperate about the thing you are striving for.Think it in the long term sense and decide upon over the things and forget it .Dont make your mind think about it again and again.its because repititive thinking of it would not anything better .

finally i want to convey that improvement in the thought process is required to make ourselves better over things .To analyze over things well to live life and lead life successfully.

PS: Its been really long to get done with the blog.I actually merged two different subjects into a single post.One thing i have found through this post is , i have found myself contradicting over my things and supporting at the very next time.Agaian a dilemma[:D].Hope my crap philosophy would recieve a token of appreciation.

EMOTIONAL FOOLS (this is for u [:[)] )

DUMB & NUMB

Perturbed by the emotions,

Confused by the notations,

Lost in the deep jungle of imagination,

I am still striving for my conviction,

Without checking over the complications,

Leaving me with no options,

And kill out my navigations.

Everything is going above head,

Nothing is going the way, its said,

Everything is seeming so odd,

There is nothing to which I can hold,

I think I am living dead.

Everything is on the air,

There are many things I should do, alas, I cant dare,

Everything seems so distant , nothing is near,

bring me to life , oh dear,

I don’t have the liberty to cry a river.

PS : this seems so funny and hilarious. I tried to crap a poem and this turned out to be a complete kindergarten school " RHYMING POEM " . anyhow..done wid my poem, so its your turn to bear it now.I think i can coin a new word which you gonna sense and feel after seeing my blog regularly "BLOGOPHOBIA". [:D]

Kith & Kin.....

Sometimes when we look back over the relations ,relations we are in, relations we expect to happen, relations we expect to blossom, relations we want to fade out(there are some things we want to escape from) , relations which fade out with time ,without our control though we don’t want them to fade out , relations we expect to go on as the life goes on. Of all the relations, we expect some of them to be special. Its human's most common trait. He is expected to do crazy odd things otherwise he wouldn’t be called human. We try to seek intimacy from fairer sex but most of the times, things go in vain leaving us frustrated. The human mindset is such that, though things are difficult and impossible to him, the things seem to be easy and moderately difficult to him. He doesn’t tend to give up till he completely drowns into the whirl giving him no chance to come out , drowning him completely into the deep depths.. The analyzing part of his , tries to, make him new experiments everyday. Not everyone, but some of his analyzing experiments get launched. The imaginary illusionary fantasy part of his awakes and gives rise to different products in his mind besides some useful by products.

Each relationship has a time frame, which might had been decided before hand or decided by the situations the relationship grows/ falls into. Usually, the time frame is till the purpose has been served to either one or both the individuals involved in the relationship. But there are some relationships which don’t stand for a purpose. There are some relations which have no purpose element at the backdrop. It has affection, care, love and pamper element.In this relation, there is just the affection and love element and there's no more added element involved in this kind of relations. Relation between a parent and child, relation between siblings, relation between a happy couple , relation between best friends do stand on as examples for this kind of relations.

The everything you try to involve in , may be a relationship, a thing for which you are really desperate of, any attempt for a big achievement for which you are desperate in your life, its Only when you realize the reason behind your want, which shows your desperateness to achieve it. The stronger your reason to achieve the desired thing, the more desperate you are to achieve it.

Of all the relations , the purest is between a mother and child. the tenderness , the purity ,the insanity which exists between a mother for his/her child cannot be observed anywhere. Just observe the affection of a mother when the child is ill or been hurt. The worry element on her shows the extent and degree of the motherness. The care of her on the child is heavenly ,In fact defining the motherness and the mother’s affection in a single word wouldn’t be possible. motherness is the quality of a goddess which tries to fulfill every wish or boon of the child ,though the wish is impossible to fulfill for her.

The next comes , the relationship between a father and the child. The father tries to be the guide of the child till the end of the journey ,chiding him sometimes to resist him from going into the wrong paths, helping him sometimes in the difficulties ,inspiring him sometimes. He is the caretaker of the child’s career , the guiding hand. Though sometimes the form of relationship differs from a father & daughter and a father & son , but at the end the things are very close to differentiate.

The relationship between siblings is one of its kind. They fight, laugh, talk ,share secrets which cannot be shared with parents (sometimes some thoughts cannot be revealed to parents). There is a lot of friendship element in the siblings relation. The transparency appears so well in the relation. The chemistry between them is really amazing.

Though being in such a hearty relations, the male element still strives for the female element(sometimes the flip side of it also happens), and the transformation in his thinking can be noticed. Even the transformation in his thoughts and thinking follows a particular law which hasn’t been discovered yet. (I am in serious search and research for that law, so that to find it out and grab the Nobel ) The possessiveness and intimacy towards the counterpart increases exponentially. Then the actual drama begins. The law is – the mindset of the male fraction complete depends on the response of female fraction towards him and the reaction of her towards him proportionately and exponentially influences the mindset of male fraction after the response. The half life concept is also applicable to this poor guy. The decay of him is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol he consumes. [:D]

If the result is at least partially affirmative , the amount of time he wastes doing crap is really a fast and high going skyscraper with respect to time.…similar to the curve of a fast growing software MNC like GOOGLE or YAHOO. The heart starts taking control on him leaving the poor brain behind.

In fact every common guy wants heart to rule over rather than the intelligent mind or brain. We tend to give a little soft corner to heart rather than brain. May be this is because heart makes us to do what we like without applying any logistics , reasoning and all, rather like brain which tends to do everything logically. Just like in a theory, where in there are ideal and practical cases, Heart can be attributed to ideal case, we love to follow them , but in most of the cases they don’t happen. At the maximum, the result tends to be maximized( near ideal)giving optimized efficiency. On the other side, the thoughts of mind are practical, can be applied and can give you results when applied with brain, reasoning etc. Still we go with heart rather than with mind. Poor mind always turns up on the loosing lonely side when compared to heart.

This experience ( the whirl he had fallen in) if stays for a long time, post effect teaches him to be practical and logical(after the failure) .This way the things go on. Therefore, We should try to analyze and introspect over the things once in a while , but repeated analyzing makes us confused ( more than we actually are) and frustrated. Just try to live the life and introspect it once in a while. Have one or two friends who can bear you and hear you[:)] till the end of the journey. Relations have a lot of significance in the aftermath , so try to keep the relations as healthy as possible.

Finally, Just live the life, if you are feared to analyze it.

JUST............ LIVE LIFE,STOP ANALYZING.

PS:Thoughts flowing in mind.These thoughts are post CAT .Any kind of regret or gloomy element in me makes to blog.Actually when things are gloomy , you do only two B's. The first is blogging and second is......(You might have guessed) .These are really great remedies to vent out your crap. Thoughts iterating in the mind again and again but no solution to these thoughts even after infinite iterations.Have a number of hopes and aspirations but donno know when gotta have them fulfilled. I wish, i have a TIME MACHINE so that i can discern my future and try to have control on it instead of analyzing the future.(:D)