requiem for a DREAM....

It was a great opportunity to prove myself, in the whole life. I have been burning mid night oil to prove myself this time. This opportunity if I prove myself this time, would let me open to my the one dream I have been dreaming from long time. This opportunity is no more than a preliminary but I am in trans because of the fret of proving my worth in this preliminary which would lead to my actual reverie which I am desperate to make it real. I was all done with my preparation for it . I lived dreaming about it, working on the dream until I was content that if I get a chance I have the worth to prove myself. I had ample occasions of breaking the ice swiftly but as the routine part of my life , I let the opportunities slip away from my hand. Encapsulating my thoughts , hard work , and passion would be a very difficult thing, in fact impossible. In fact , I am a more of a day dreamer , because I try to live life myself, my way. That is I analyze things in my way, feeling the element of success every time I get reminded of my passion.

It was the D day I have been waiting for the long time. I woke up dreaming the same dream again and again . I was content with the home work , I have done for this assignment but was feared of losing the things narrowly. This is because I have missed hell of a things narrowly. So I didn’t want to take any chance when I am so close to my dream .

I woke up with my eyes resisting a lot ,to see the world and for the day I have been dying to see. I went to wash basin , tapped and spilled the water heavily upon the face trying to throw out the every lethargy to recharge myself with complete spirit. My thoughts were completely dominated only with my dreams ,dreams and dreams, which if I do well may come out true. The vision of accomplishment was appearing in my eyes.

I took out my bike and started the engine. I was going at a brisk pace listening to my favorite tracks on a rush road. I was 4 to 5 miles short of my destination. I looked at the watch and felt that I was getting late. I accelerated the bike to around 90 kmph , while in the middle of the road , there was a boy of around ten with some wrappers in his hand. I tried to avoid the boy off from my vehicle , but I was too fast to avoid him.I gushed the bike into the boy and couldn’t help out. I felt very much gulity .The boy was bleeding profusely and I hadto decide between my dreams and the boy’s faith , both of which were completely in my hand. I just gave a thought and decided to take the boy to the hospital. I took the side of humanity in front of insanity, that is my long lived dream. The boy got heavy wounds on the leg and was bleeding profusely. I took him to the nearby multi specialty hospital.The doctor was treating the boy and I decided to take the boy along to his home.

I was a bit grim for losing over my dream.I had prepared for it from the past one year and I couldn't show up this year.But there was a feeling of satisfaction as I was doing some good instead of it.The boy regained normalcy by the next two days.

I had a nice chit chat with the boy. His father was a local farmer and he committed suicide last year because of the unpaid debts. His mother makes some local munchies , which the boy sells to make both the ends meet. By the time he told about himself and his family , we reached his home.It was a small space roofed with plastic sheets and the space was just enough for three people to sit up. After listening to them , I came back home at around 8 in the evening.Some of the thoughts of them were undigestable.I was thinking about them the whole night , instead of thinking about my dream which I do very often.

It’s a vicious cycle. A boy goes to vernacular school because his father is a farmer and can not afford expensive English school for his son. Then his son is not allowed to write the final exams because of school fees which remains unpaid due to bad crop this year and due unseasonal rains because of global warming. The farmer is under 3 lacs debt and finds it impossible to make ends meet, thankfully he has a bottle of pesticide which he drinks due to helplessness and government ‘s mismanagement of funds. He dies, his son now is a school dropout but he cant follow his father’s profession because there is no money to restart all over again nor can he end his life like his father because who would look after his mother and 4 young siblings.

The mother makes good local snacks so he somehow manages to borrow few hundreds and asks his mother to make snacks like khakra, chakli, namakpaare etc, which he carries every morning and sells door to door in the city but hardly any one buys it. It not hygienic nor does it have any of those fancy packing. He one day goes to this girl’s house in the city who like the other munchies and refuses to buy it because she prefers “Lays” potato chips over “khakras”. She works in a call centre, speaks English, earns 20 thousand a month and feels proud to be a part of “India Poised, India Shining, India Rising” She feels proud because she is a part of this young and happening crowd of India’s “Generation Next” . She earns for the Americans and then she spends her money on Lays, Coke, Nike shoes and Swiss Spas. Her mom any way has to cook dinner because even if she also is a part of “India Shining”, she at the end of the day has to cook dinner for a family of 4 no matter how tired she is, the dinner must be served hot and fresh. So she goes to the vegetable market and thinks of going to this vegetable selling lady who happens to be the farmer’s widow (the widow decided to sell vegetables like potato, green chili, lemon, ginger etc to support the family after her husband committed hara kiri) . But the lady on her way to this vegetable selling lady happens to see a new super market which claims to sell everything under one roof at a very affordable price. And it looks posh also. So she changes her direction towards that super market leaving this widow vegetable seller waiting for another customer who would prefer to buy vegetables and other groceries as it used to be in the olden days.

This super market is an American chain and looks stylish. People are flocking it because end of the day a wife still has to cook and clean after the board meeting is over. The hard earned money of their husbands are spent on these super markets and the American owner thanks Indian middle class for their generosity for making this American owner more rich.

In the mean time the American super market owner with money earned from Indian middle class tells the Indian Government that it wants to open more retail chains. So the Government which has been elected only by 50% of Indians by will and rest 50% by booth capturing and not elected by people who think voting is a waste of time, election day is a holiday so might as well go for a picnic, who work in call centre and do not get time off to cast vote and the call centre cabbies who have to drop the staff to the company (so many votes wasted) . So this Government procures land in the name of SEZ and retail boom and development and gives it to this American owner at a very affordable price. This land is procured from farmers by making false promises to them, because in any case the farmer would eventually commit suicide and the sons would sell silly stuffs like khakra and not use the farm land to make a living. The widow would need a hospital when she would grow old and frail but there would be no hospital because the land has been given to someone else in the name of “Development”. The boy now would need night shelter to spend chilly nights because he had to sell his house also, but there would be none available, no “anganwadi” available for his young siblings also. There would no free schools also because all land has been given away for making roads to accommodate more cars, more malls, parking spaces, amusement parks, call centers etc. But what to do life goes on, so this boy gets married like the so many out there, have children like the so many out there but where would all the children live? They need houses. So lets cut the forests and cover the sea to make way for our houses and get land and more vacant land. So the tiger dies, the cattle survives and eats more and more grass lands making it bald, barren and lose. So next year of “India Shining”, people die due to land slide, commit suicide because of unseasonal rains and floods, famine, droughts. But the super market building does not crumble due to any of these natural invited calamities as it is made of stuff which are made in Japan. But the American owner decides to try some other market because people here are no longer spending and making him rich since they are more busy settling their lives after all these disasters. So the retail shop, call centre closes down, people lose jobs and the government does not have enough grains in the grainery to feed the hungry because the farmers who were the “Annadatas” had committed suicide long before and their sons dread to continue the same profession.

I was completely disturbed in my thoughts .When would the India really move forward ? When would the disparity end between rich& poor? When would the social barriers in this society die? To me, there is only one solution to this long running problem……

THE YOUTH……….

They have the potential to knock out the problems India has been facing.

LOSE YOURSELF............

Hunger , this word can have plethora of contexts ,but to me, hunger reminds me of a small boy striving hard all the day on the street for a few alms so that he can have his poor appetite once in the whole day . Hunger is the greatest cause for death in the world. About 7000 people die everyday of hunger in the world. For every five minutes, a child below 5 yrs, dies because of hunger.

India is a great country and is growing most rapidly after china in the world. Its GDP is growing by almost 9 to 10 percent a year. This really shows greatness on the part of India and India is been considered along with US and brazil as the most prosperous countries. But are we really moving forward in this race. Is the growth we are talking about is reaching to the abject and miserable to whom its impossible to have a meal a day. I am really poor at stats, but to my knowledge, India has one of the lowest per capita income in the world after Africa’s most unluckiest nations like malwia and Bolivia. India has the highest number of people below the poverty level. India is one of the nations in the world with highest amount of corruption. According to a survey conducted in the western countries, India is most threatened place to live in after Pakistan .India being one of the largest agri countires has one of the lowest growth in it.

India has an epic history of producing world’s greatest protagonists like mahatma Gandhi , world’s richest business tycoons like suneel mittal , great brains like ramanujan , C.V .Raman .We had and have everything what a developed nation needs , but to me the effort is in vain because we are not striving hard enough towards the solution of the problem. The solution lies in the hands of the people, but they are in real deep slumber .

Why are we so busy with ourselves and our problems .Why are we living life to the fullest when there is a hell of problems present , which we need to empathize upon and work in its direction towards its progress. Why are people so particular about their particular things when there are lot of other things to visualize and think over them.

We need to wake from up from our deep slumber .We need to visualize our dreams , and work on them. we need be visionary and should work to be a winner.The thought process of the people should shift from particularity to universality.This is because the real pleasure of life is, when your thoughts run for people and their welfare.The fame you attain by doing good to people motivates you to work persistently for them.

In the recent movie ‘GURU” ,a good movie after a long time, one song captivated me , but I want to modify its lyrics a bit.I didnt like the idea of the song. The lyrics of that song again motivates to a deep slumber and dream. In fact it should inspire to wake up from the sleep . Have dreams , visualize them, and work over them. Dreaming again and again would give nothing, until we work towards it.

Jaage rahenge der tak, kuch soye huve ko jagaane dho,

Thodi si neendh kaafi hain, kuch der aur jaan lagaane dho,

Aadhe adhure kwabh jo pure na ho sake,

Un kwabhon ko hakeekath mein badalne dho.

PS: The first and second para of the post have no relations directly , but i wanted to express over the biggest problem being faced.The subject of my post shifting from particularity to universality.hopin this crap to recieve token of appreciation.

JUNK TO MONK & THEORY OF INFINITISM

Do we really need a particular day to convey our thoughts or our thought process to a girl. Do a particular day is biased than any other day for conveying over your EDISONS BULB .I don’t think so. Wht really matters is appropriate substantiation of your thought process which is very rare .The plethora of thoughts is really worthless if it is completely on the analyzing side and not on experimental side.

you should have experienced junk to be a monk.

That is you must have tasted the bad along with good to justify which is good and why .The terminologies, what , why , how , when ,who are explainable only when you know what is wrong and for what is it wrong.

Is there anything like someone is made for you. Do people go for chance rather than choice in the life. Seeing life from a broader perspective would give the generalized solutions but its difficult to reach a particular solution through generalized solutions and its what we are trying for and dying for.

getting particular to generalized in your thought process makes you feel that you are going mature and sensible. Getting generalized to particular is being hasty and shows your desperateness upon something. It shows a mode of transformation in your thought process.This also shows a sign of you, suffering in the future.

Everything on this world is made of two counter flippant sides, just like the two flip sides of a coin. One side completely counter of the other, one side completely unaware of the other, one side completely unknown and irrelative of the other, one side completely independent of the other side, but these two things in together make infinity,. these two unaware and independent sides make out the things complete ,these two elements in together make out the universal set, this seems so amusing.

The scientists are on search for the universal theory which can explain behind the every human thought , every human emotion, every fiction, every fact, every law.
I really wonder can one universal theory can complete justify or substantiate everything on this world, the way everything is made, the way everything can be made, the way everything can be created, the way everything can be supported, the way everything can be destroyed , but I still strongly believe, there exists such unique theory which can completely reason out all the cases.

I think karl max’s Das capital, Darwin’s Theory of evolution and hellen keller's MY LIFE which deal with most of the subjects fairly , philosophically and psychologically , if get united do have the potential of bringing out the universal theory –Theory of infinity. The theory of infinitism , the universal theory will be able to explain the every human emotion in its own way, defining over the every odd human emotion in the way we want it to be.

Sometimes I wonder is everything that happening around are mutually exclusive events or independent events and the conclusion I have reached upon is everything is related , that is ,all events are dependent on the success of relying event. The events are inter dependent and the success of one event relies on the success of the dependent event which in itself explains that everything in this world is made of two counter flippant sides and those two sides in together make out the universal set but the problem lies here is , the probability of success is always very less,most of the times tending to zero.

Such a low probability event makes the life more a struggle than a cake walk. Life is no way a cake walk. Its our struggle for making the interdependent events successful, in order to make our one successful.

The other way of percepting is an analogy.

Life seems to be a struggle between fantasy and reality .The more we try to be in the fantasy world, the more it pushes or drags us to the unpleasant reality. But we want to be a part of this sucking struggle saga of reality and make this reality transform into the fantasy we desire to.

Considering reality our event and the fantasy , the event whom success we are relying upon. As the counter independent event is fantasy, its almost very low chance of getting it happened and we found ourselves struggling between fantasy and reality.

Living life to the fullest in itself seems to be the most banal and hackneyed cliche .There is nothing like living life to the fullest. You just seem to extract something satisfactory out of the nothing. Analyzing the life with perspective is much more than living the life. Analyzing life seems to be a practical expression with a sprinkles of living life.

Analyzing over things is really enjoyable than living life, because , while analyzing we think the things our way and hence feel the element of success .

Based on my observation and analysis I have made till now , I have framed laws which are completely crap and are based on the experience till now.

Law of Transformation: The Transformation in human thinking can be categorized two ways and the following deductions can be made depending upon the mode of thinking he delves into.

If his thinking transforms from generalization to specific, he gonna face the bad music..The journey ahead wouldn’t be a cake walk.

If his thinking transforms from specific to general, he is learning from his mistakes,he is thinking good, thinking well enough matured, or at least seeming to think matured.

When you are in a real strong dilemma or trilemma [:)] and you need to make a decision(sometimes you are not required to make a decision though ), just close up your eyes and think about the thing you are striving for.Assert over the thing and decide , are you really deperate about the thing you are striving for.Think it in the long term sense and decide upon over the things and forget it .Dont make your mind think about it again and again.its because repititive thinking of it would not anything better .

finally i want to convey that improvement in the thought process is required to make ourselves better over things .To analyze over things well to live life and lead life successfully.

PS: Its been really long to get done with the blog.I actually merged two different subjects into a single post.One thing i have found through this post is , i have found myself contradicting over my things and supporting at the very next time.Agaian a dilemma[:D].Hope my crap philosophy would recieve a token of appreciation.