INSPIRATION :)

I have been the crappy guy right from the childhood. I have done so many messy things, but hats off to my parents, who chide a bit, to bring a good change in me and have been back at me always supporting me.


I owe a lot to them .


i was really a dumb student in the class, but i feel that ,its really my parents consistent hardwork on me (which is not so easy thing on this earth, consistently trying to make me better ) that made me come up some what better, than i was actually in my school days.


In my school days, i got addicted to video gaming and i started burning my dad pockets. I got addicted to such an extent that i even started picking up bucks from my dad wallet.


There is a crazy incident one day . I as usual [:)] picked up a 50 bucks from my dad's wallet and he caught me, red handed. He said me to take the money and go for gaming. i took it and went out. The evening, he brought me the games player, so that he can see any kind of positive change in me.I was too young to grasp the moral that time.


One thing i have a noticed a lot. The way you are brought up is been shaped up by your parents firstly, and by your friends. The parents do a lot , especially father to bring down the son to the right way, constraining from going into wrong paths, and at the same time working hard to fulfill his son desires.


I had fleed away from my home around in 7th , becuase i thought my parents don't want me to realize my ambition , that is ,to be a cricketer.Really those immature things are the ones you cherish when you get big and old.

Last month, when i was filling up slam book, i got to encounter a question

what are your strengths.???

Its not that i havent faced this question before. I have faced this question quite a lot of number of times,at filling my curiculum vitae, in my interviews and many more times. But, to act accordoing to the situation, i have boasted up so many things to justify myself a brillliant , analytical and yet a down to earth guy. After reading up the question, I was curious and i asked my innerself , what actually my strengths are...


The first thing my inner self said is...

who has been the one who has been with you always right from the start???

who are the ones, who will accept almost any of ur mistake..???

Who will be there to think of you all times, always.....??

Who will be the one with you, who always give, without expecting in return??


The next second i answered to my innerself,
bingo, MY PARENTS.


They are my biggest assets, my strengths, my source of constant motivation, my inspiration.


My dad always tries to make my list of desires fulfilled and my mom has always been the loving, the caring, still treating me as a small child cuddling me.


I know , i havent been the best of the son, but DAD and MOM , I LOVE U. :)




PS: I have written a personal post , after a long time. I just felt like doing it, to dedicate one to my parents. :)

INTROSPECTION :D

i have been blogging regulary from the start , but from the past two months , i havent blogged at all. Probably iam just not getting any particular thoughts, or iam busy scripting for my first novel.yeah, iam stuffing my first novel.It about me and my friends life.Its about all the messy things i have done along with my friends. Actually we have experienced enough of shit to frame a story. The story with a justified ending( i suppose the ending would be justified).I have a got a source to give my best, to vent out all my thoughts, emotions and philospohy and i would never back down this opportunity(i hope).I have read a blog recently, prescribed by a friend of mine, and some stuff of it really moved me. I was inspired to blog again. Blog back again with my frequency i used to do.
one of the posts of his inspired me to write about many thoughts.It raised a quite a number of questions to my innerself and iam gonna ask it till i get a solution.

I hope i have some time machine which atleast give the solutions which are pending on to the future :)

when would i will be content with my life??

why am i loosing my innocence??

when would i be feeling guilt conscious again??(i used to feel it previosuly, but kind of lost my track a bit now)

why does alcohol makes you to to run away from ethics(sometimes, its the addiction iam talking about)

how does fagging makes you feel , that iam thinking and thinking productive??

when would i start working on my dreams??

is there like something, called perfect match?? (how does that comes into lyfe)

am i living lyfe or am i dying slow???(living is synonymous with freaking and loving life where as dying is synonymous with degrading, adulterating)

am i better now or was better previously??

when would i have control of senses, that is when would i quit from my addictions??

when would my decision influence thousands of people, and my good one would help a thousands!!!!!

when would i get my ideas realized(its ideas iam talking about, not dreams)

Does any change in us leads to good???(dont say that depends on the type of change)

when would i stop thinking in transitional way, that is a blend of two,(i want to think about the things in black or white way, good or bad way)???

what is that one thing for which I can sacrifice my lyfe for??

would i be content with my lyfe when i die???

what exactly is a peaceful death???


Iam habituated to loose everything, but i wouldn't lose upon my ethics, my morals.

MOODS.... :)

Compatibility and Comparability


Compatibility and Comparability----- these two nouns aren’t as simple as they look . I have a very bad habit of finding analogies, and applying them to the weird situations. The things that happens to us and to our surroundings makes us to think on different kinds of analogies which in fact sometimes doesn’t proper fit in our present situations. Still we don’t stop finding the analogies and analyzing them. In fact , it wouldn’t be wrong , If I say that these two terms individually and in together are applicable in almost all concepts .Everything. Lyfe, philosophy, science, law, Politics, social history, psychology i.e almost every facet we are dealing up in our lyfe.

Applying to lyfe, the principles of compatibility and comparability ,the goal or aim we are striving up depends on our compatibility , that is , we tend to check over the potential it requires and the potential we have. Here the relative net potential accounts for the compatibility. Comparability comes in the roll when we tend to surface on the relative approach and relative potential and caliber.
I have discover this concept a few days back and applying this concept to various situations has been funny nd retreating.In fact, applying it to my life has been much funnier i can say. :)
______________________________________________________________________


LYFE SUCKS

To be apt and true in my thoughts, this mechanical life sucks.No one tries to do or be the different. Every one is running over the common(partially me too and i hate me for this). Life is getting crappier and crappier. In fact, a degraded lump, havin no innovativity.The thing is , we are trying to be so optimistic in everything, that we are not efforting for it whole heartedly. Infact we all are following the thought
" optimism - a reflection of skeptism.
If we are doubtful , we are no way thinking on to the hard side of it.We are feeling ourself the best without checking over the reality and and our limitations. We all just want to retreat the life and make it a happy seldom without exactly realizing our thoughts. We know that we are Deviating from our morals , ethics, ideas, aims, goals and still we dont work on it ,to make it any better.


PS: I had an idea of writing a post half in half in two different moods. Seems my mental status after the mood affected the post :)

Cause....Existence....God ...Lyfe

Everything that happens to us in our daily mechanical life makes us to think over what exactly humanity is, what exactly compassion is, and is there any existence of GOD, and if yes , how can we strive to reach the God. Is God really an idol, a thought , a power, an energy or is it a mere hope in us which makes us to strive for achievement, perfection, salvation and complacence.

The series of introspection would definitely give us some initiative regarding the existence of the God and its cause of presence.

My* crap theory would give an idea of the existence of so many religions and its divisions ( I suppose ) . I strongly believe in the word “everything happens for a reason and every existence has a cause.

]Based on my idiotic reasoning, I have propounded over a theory whose essence is as follows :.

1.Everything that occurs is because of energy, which can never be created nor be destroyed but transforms from one form to another form which can be termed as 'cosmic' energy.

2. As human faces many problems which can not be solved by himself,he looks for someone else who can solve his problem, that is ,in other words he tries to find out the means which can give him relief

3.we ought to believe that everything runs under some energy which we do not know and may be we can term it as an ‘impersonal god’ and as said, god thing is infinite,no religious god is the perfect answer for 'god' since any religion is limited.

4. If there is a body which can solve the (so-called) problems of all,which can give relief ,then it can be treated as god and eureka, here comes the existence of god, a personal god.

5.Till now no body( anything sacred ) could give ‘solution’ to all the so-called problems, its role was limited and that is the reason why people found so many gods. This means there is nothing like 'god' found till now .Man does not know the exactness of anything. This is the reason for the existence of so many (so-called)gods and religions

6.one has to study every religion and know the reason for its creation, existence and extinction. Then he should try to satisfy its purpose and make his purpose out of it.

7.The solution of man’s every so-called problem lies here, giving no-importance to sensual, emotional attachments and the resultant pleasures and grieves…realizing that they are momentous…thus living the life being non-attached.

Based on the theory above , I have defined over what actually LIFE is and its quintessence is as follows:

1.The real pleasure of life lies in the emotional attachments, and this pleasure is being given secondary importance as we are running towards momentous illusions which enthrall for the short time leaving us behind in the values of humanity and compassion.

2. The exact bliss of life is finding a cause to live .Life is all about discovering your passions, frame an algorithm to seize the opportunity you are really craving for.

3. Reform is what we need to strive for to make the world a much better, livelier and happier place to live in.

4. Don’t tend to compromise with life as life is all about aspiring for the best, giving your best shot to it, succeeding at it and later recalling , how beautiful life is.

5. Wait for the right time to go for the thing you are really desperate for.You would get enough chances in life to prove yourself worthy to deserve the thing you are really desperate for. The ‘GOD” element is testing over , whether your desperateness is long lasting or a momentous illusion.

LYFE.....the magic cycle...☺

Live the way you love,
love the way you live,
the pretty moments ,
the gurgling incidents,
the sniggering narrations,
of the liveliest enjoyments,
the unknown expectations,
continuous fairer sex iterations,
and then its popped out situations,
which later become source of entertainments.

The time you have spent with vodka,
to vent out your frustations,
to bring out your emotions,
this is what the life is,
life without all these,
is just no way close to,
what actually life is.

The time comes when
you are out of the coll"age",
there would be no such friends to get engaged ,
you and your solitude ,
would be your companions,
and your life would be a one dimensional array,
with office and home its elements.

because when you are far of friends,
your are in trans, an unexpected vaccum,
starving for the friends,
occasionally sobbing for them,
sharing philosophy, expressing emotions, experiences,
when you meet them after a long time.

Now comes the fairer sex element in your life,
you work hard for the girl you have liked,
but when you realize she is no more in touch with you,
you think of when & where did you met her first,
get complacent with what you had in the past,
regretting, why do time runs out so fast,
and again think of the moment,
that when did you met her last.

Life just happens this way,
some things goes your way,
and most of the things the other way,
but see the life with a view of an optimist,
to live the life to its fullest.

PS: i was a bit down thinking of the future ahead after three months.When you are emotionally down, thoughts run so fast in you. This is my stuff and i dedicate it to all the people close to my heart.(it may sound childish) Love u buddies.☺

requiem for a DREAM....

It was a great opportunity to prove myself, in the whole life. I have been burning mid night oil to prove myself this time. This opportunity if I prove myself this time, would let me open to my the one dream I have been dreaming from long time. This opportunity is no more than a preliminary but I am in trans because of the fret of proving my worth in this preliminary which would lead to my actual reverie which I am desperate to make it real. I was all done with my preparation for it . I lived dreaming about it, working on the dream until I was content that if I get a chance I have the worth to prove myself. I had ample occasions of breaking the ice swiftly but as the routine part of my life , I let the opportunities slip away from my hand. Encapsulating my thoughts , hard work , and passion would be a very difficult thing, in fact impossible. In fact , I am a more of a day dreamer , because I try to live life myself, my way. That is I analyze things in my way, feeling the element of success every time I get reminded of my passion.

It was the D day I have been waiting for the long time. I woke up dreaming the same dream again and again . I was content with the home work , I have done for this assignment but was feared of losing the things narrowly. This is because I have missed hell of a things narrowly. So I didn’t want to take any chance when I am so close to my dream .

I woke up with my eyes resisting a lot ,to see the world and for the day I have been dying to see. I went to wash basin , tapped and spilled the water heavily upon the face trying to throw out the every lethargy to recharge myself with complete spirit. My thoughts were completely dominated only with my dreams ,dreams and dreams, which if I do well may come out true. The vision of accomplishment was appearing in my eyes.

I took out my bike and started the engine. I was going at a brisk pace listening to my favorite tracks on a rush road. I was 4 to 5 miles short of my destination. I looked at the watch and felt that I was getting late. I accelerated the bike to around 90 kmph , while in the middle of the road , there was a boy of around ten with some wrappers in his hand. I tried to avoid the boy off from my vehicle , but I was too fast to avoid him.I gushed the bike into the boy and couldn’t help out. I felt very much gulity .The boy was bleeding profusely and I hadto decide between my dreams and the boy’s faith , both of which were completely in my hand. I just gave a thought and decided to take the boy to the hospital. I took the side of humanity in front of insanity, that is my long lived dream. The boy got heavy wounds on the leg and was bleeding profusely. I took him to the nearby multi specialty hospital.The doctor was treating the boy and I decided to take the boy along to his home.

I was a bit grim for losing over my dream.I had prepared for it from the past one year and I couldn't show up this year.But there was a feeling of satisfaction as I was doing some good instead of it.The boy regained normalcy by the next two days.

I had a nice chit chat with the boy. His father was a local farmer and he committed suicide last year because of the unpaid debts. His mother makes some local munchies , which the boy sells to make both the ends meet. By the time he told about himself and his family , we reached his home.It was a small space roofed with plastic sheets and the space was just enough for three people to sit up. After listening to them , I came back home at around 8 in the evening.Some of the thoughts of them were undigestable.I was thinking about them the whole night , instead of thinking about my dream which I do very often.

It’s a vicious cycle. A boy goes to vernacular school because his father is a farmer and can not afford expensive English school for his son. Then his son is not allowed to write the final exams because of school fees which remains unpaid due to bad crop this year and due unseasonal rains because of global warming. The farmer is under 3 lacs debt and finds it impossible to make ends meet, thankfully he has a bottle of pesticide which he drinks due to helplessness and government ‘s mismanagement of funds. He dies, his son now is a school dropout but he cant follow his father’s profession because there is no money to restart all over again nor can he end his life like his father because who would look after his mother and 4 young siblings.

The mother makes good local snacks so he somehow manages to borrow few hundreds and asks his mother to make snacks like khakra, chakli, namakpaare etc, which he carries every morning and sells door to door in the city but hardly any one buys it. It not hygienic nor does it have any of those fancy packing. He one day goes to this girl’s house in the city who like the other munchies and refuses to buy it because she prefers “Lays” potato chips over “khakras”. She works in a call centre, speaks English, earns 20 thousand a month and feels proud to be a part of “India Poised, India Shining, India Rising” She feels proud because she is a part of this young and happening crowd of India’s “Generation Next” . She earns for the Americans and then she spends her money on Lays, Coke, Nike shoes and Swiss Spas. Her mom any way has to cook dinner because even if she also is a part of “India Shining”, she at the end of the day has to cook dinner for a family of 4 no matter how tired she is, the dinner must be served hot and fresh. So she goes to the vegetable market and thinks of going to this vegetable selling lady who happens to be the farmer’s widow (the widow decided to sell vegetables like potato, green chili, lemon, ginger etc to support the family after her husband committed hara kiri) . But the lady on her way to this vegetable selling lady happens to see a new super market which claims to sell everything under one roof at a very affordable price. And it looks posh also. So she changes her direction towards that super market leaving this widow vegetable seller waiting for another customer who would prefer to buy vegetables and other groceries as it used to be in the olden days.

This super market is an American chain and looks stylish. People are flocking it because end of the day a wife still has to cook and clean after the board meeting is over. The hard earned money of their husbands are spent on these super markets and the American owner thanks Indian middle class for their generosity for making this American owner more rich.

In the mean time the American super market owner with money earned from Indian middle class tells the Indian Government that it wants to open more retail chains. So the Government which has been elected only by 50% of Indians by will and rest 50% by booth capturing and not elected by people who think voting is a waste of time, election day is a holiday so might as well go for a picnic, who work in call centre and do not get time off to cast vote and the call centre cabbies who have to drop the staff to the company (so many votes wasted) . So this Government procures land in the name of SEZ and retail boom and development and gives it to this American owner at a very affordable price. This land is procured from farmers by making false promises to them, because in any case the farmer would eventually commit suicide and the sons would sell silly stuffs like khakra and not use the farm land to make a living. The widow would need a hospital when she would grow old and frail but there would be no hospital because the land has been given to someone else in the name of “Development”. The boy now would need night shelter to spend chilly nights because he had to sell his house also, but there would be none available, no “anganwadi” available for his young siblings also. There would no free schools also because all land has been given away for making roads to accommodate more cars, more malls, parking spaces, amusement parks, call centers etc. But what to do life goes on, so this boy gets married like the so many out there, have children like the so many out there but where would all the children live? They need houses. So lets cut the forests and cover the sea to make way for our houses and get land and more vacant land. So the tiger dies, the cattle survives and eats more and more grass lands making it bald, barren and lose. So next year of “India Shining”, people die due to land slide, commit suicide because of unseasonal rains and floods, famine, droughts. But the super market building does not crumble due to any of these natural invited calamities as it is made of stuff which are made in Japan. But the American owner decides to try some other market because people here are no longer spending and making him rich since they are more busy settling their lives after all these disasters. So the retail shop, call centre closes down, people lose jobs and the government does not have enough grains in the grainery to feed the hungry because the farmers who were the “Annadatas” had committed suicide long before and their sons dread to continue the same profession.

I was completely disturbed in my thoughts .When would the India really move forward ? When would the disparity end between rich& poor? When would the social barriers in this society die? To me, there is only one solution to this long running problem……

THE YOUTH……….

They have the potential to knock out the problems India has been facing.

LOSE YOURSELF............

Hunger , this word can have plethora of contexts ,but to me, hunger reminds me of a small boy striving hard all the day on the street for a few alms so that he can have his poor appetite once in the whole day . Hunger is the greatest cause for death in the world. About 7000 people die everyday of hunger in the world. For every five minutes, a child below 5 yrs, dies because of hunger.

India is a great country and is growing most rapidly after china in the world. Its GDP is growing by almost 9 to 10 percent a year. This really shows greatness on the part of India and India is been considered along with US and brazil as the most prosperous countries. But are we really moving forward in this race. Is the growth we are talking about is reaching to the abject and miserable to whom its impossible to have a meal a day. I am really poor at stats, but to my knowledge, India has one of the lowest per capita income in the world after Africa’s most unluckiest nations like malwia and Bolivia. India has the highest number of people below the poverty level. India is one of the nations in the world with highest amount of corruption. According to a survey conducted in the western countries, India is most threatened place to live in after Pakistan .India being one of the largest agri countires has one of the lowest growth in it.

India has an epic history of producing world’s greatest protagonists like mahatma Gandhi , world’s richest business tycoons like suneel mittal , great brains like ramanujan , C.V .Raman .We had and have everything what a developed nation needs , but to me the effort is in vain because we are not striving hard enough towards the solution of the problem. The solution lies in the hands of the people, but they are in real deep slumber .

Why are we so busy with ourselves and our problems .Why are we living life to the fullest when there is a hell of problems present , which we need to empathize upon and work in its direction towards its progress. Why are people so particular about their particular things when there are lot of other things to visualize and think over them.

We need to wake from up from our deep slumber .We need to visualize our dreams , and work on them. we need be visionary and should work to be a winner.The thought process of the people should shift from particularity to universality.This is because the real pleasure of life is, when your thoughts run for people and their welfare.The fame you attain by doing good to people motivates you to work persistently for them.

In the recent movie ‘GURU” ,a good movie after a long time, one song captivated me , but I want to modify its lyrics a bit.I didnt like the idea of the song. The lyrics of that song again motivates to a deep slumber and dream. In fact it should inspire to wake up from the sleep . Have dreams , visualize them, and work over them. Dreaming again and again would give nothing, until we work towards it.

Jaage rahenge der tak, kuch soye huve ko jagaane dho,

Thodi si neendh kaafi hain, kuch der aur jaan lagaane dho,

Aadhe adhure kwabh jo pure na ho sake,

Un kwabhon ko hakeekath mein badalne dho.

PS: The first and second para of the post have no relations directly , but i wanted to express over the biggest problem being faced.The subject of my post shifting from particularity to universality.hopin this crap to recieve token of appreciation.

JUNK TO MONK & THEORY OF INFINITISM

Do we really need a particular day to convey our thoughts or our thought process to a girl. Do a particular day is biased than any other day for conveying over your EDISONS BULB .I don’t think so. Wht really matters is appropriate substantiation of your thought process which is very rare .The plethora of thoughts is really worthless if it is completely on the analyzing side and not on experimental side.

you should have experienced junk to be a monk.

That is you must have tasted the bad along with good to justify which is good and why .The terminologies, what , why , how , when ,who are explainable only when you know what is wrong and for what is it wrong.

Is there anything like someone is made for you. Do people go for chance rather than choice in the life. Seeing life from a broader perspective would give the generalized solutions but its difficult to reach a particular solution through generalized solutions and its what we are trying for and dying for.

getting particular to generalized in your thought process makes you feel that you are going mature and sensible. Getting generalized to particular is being hasty and shows your desperateness upon something. It shows a mode of transformation in your thought process.This also shows a sign of you, suffering in the future.

Everything on this world is made of two counter flippant sides, just like the two flip sides of a coin. One side completely counter of the other, one side completely unaware of the other, one side completely unknown and irrelative of the other, one side completely independent of the other side, but these two things in together make infinity,. these two unaware and independent sides make out the things complete ,these two elements in together make out the universal set, this seems so amusing.

The scientists are on search for the universal theory which can explain behind the every human thought , every human emotion, every fiction, every fact, every law.
I really wonder can one universal theory can complete justify or substantiate everything on this world, the way everything is made, the way everything can be made, the way everything can be created, the way everything can be supported, the way everything can be destroyed , but I still strongly believe, there exists such unique theory which can completely reason out all the cases.

I think karl max’s Das capital, Darwin’s Theory of evolution and hellen keller's MY LIFE which deal with most of the subjects fairly , philosophically and psychologically , if get united do have the potential of bringing out the universal theory –Theory of infinity. The theory of infinitism , the universal theory will be able to explain the every human emotion in its own way, defining over the every odd human emotion in the way we want it to be.

Sometimes I wonder is everything that happening around are mutually exclusive events or independent events and the conclusion I have reached upon is everything is related , that is ,all events are dependent on the success of relying event. The events are inter dependent and the success of one event relies on the success of the dependent event which in itself explains that everything in this world is made of two counter flippant sides and those two sides in together make out the universal set but the problem lies here is , the probability of success is always very less,most of the times tending to zero.

Such a low probability event makes the life more a struggle than a cake walk. Life is no way a cake walk. Its our struggle for making the interdependent events successful, in order to make our one successful.

The other way of percepting is an analogy.

Life seems to be a struggle between fantasy and reality .The more we try to be in the fantasy world, the more it pushes or drags us to the unpleasant reality. But we want to be a part of this sucking struggle saga of reality and make this reality transform into the fantasy we desire to.

Considering reality our event and the fantasy , the event whom success we are relying upon. As the counter independent event is fantasy, its almost very low chance of getting it happened and we found ourselves struggling between fantasy and reality.

Living life to the fullest in itself seems to be the most banal and hackneyed cliche .There is nothing like living life to the fullest. You just seem to extract something satisfactory out of the nothing. Analyzing the life with perspective is much more than living the life. Analyzing life seems to be a practical expression with a sprinkles of living life.

Analyzing over things is really enjoyable than living life, because , while analyzing we think the things our way and hence feel the element of success .

Based on my observation and analysis I have made till now , I have framed laws which are completely crap and are based on the experience till now.

Law of Transformation: The Transformation in human thinking can be categorized two ways and the following deductions can be made depending upon the mode of thinking he delves into.

If his thinking transforms from generalization to specific, he gonna face the bad music..The journey ahead wouldn’t be a cake walk.

If his thinking transforms from specific to general, he is learning from his mistakes,he is thinking good, thinking well enough matured, or at least seeming to think matured.

When you are in a real strong dilemma or trilemma [:)] and you need to make a decision(sometimes you are not required to make a decision though ), just close up your eyes and think about the thing you are striving for.Assert over the thing and decide , are you really deperate about the thing you are striving for.Think it in the long term sense and decide upon over the things and forget it .Dont make your mind think about it again and again.its because repititive thinking of it would not anything better .

finally i want to convey that improvement in the thought process is required to make ourselves better over things .To analyze over things well to live life and lead life successfully.

PS: Its been really long to get done with the blog.I actually merged two different subjects into a single post.One thing i have found through this post is , i have found myself contradicting over my things and supporting at the very next time.Agaian a dilemma[:D].Hope my crap philosophy would recieve a token of appreciation.

EMOTIONAL FOOLS (this is for u [:[)] )

DUMB & NUMB

Perturbed by the emotions,

Confused by the notations,

Lost in the deep jungle of imagination,

I am still striving for my conviction,

Without checking over the complications,

Leaving me with no options,

And kill out my navigations.

Everything is going above head,

Nothing is going the way, its said,

Everything is seeming so odd,

There is nothing to which I can hold,

I think I am living dead.

Everything is on the air,

There are many things I should do, alas, I cant dare,

Everything seems so distant , nothing is near,

bring me to life , oh dear,

I don’t have the liberty to cry a river.

PS : this seems so funny and hilarious. I tried to crap a poem and this turned out to be a complete kindergarten school " RHYMING POEM " . anyhow..done wid my poem, so its your turn to bear it now.I think i can coin a new word which you gonna sense and feel after seeing my blog regularly "BLOGOPHOBIA". [:D]

Kith & Kin.....

Sometimes when we look back over the relations ,relations we are in, relations we expect to happen, relations we expect to blossom, relations we want to fade out(there are some things we want to escape from) , relations which fade out with time ,without our control though we don’t want them to fade out , relations we expect to go on as the life goes on. Of all the relations, we expect some of them to be special. Its human's most common trait. He is expected to do crazy odd things otherwise he wouldn’t be called human. We try to seek intimacy from fairer sex but most of the times, things go in vain leaving us frustrated. The human mindset is such that, though things are difficult and impossible to him, the things seem to be easy and moderately difficult to him. He doesn’t tend to give up till he completely drowns into the whirl giving him no chance to come out , drowning him completely into the deep depths.. The analyzing part of his , tries to, make him new experiments everyday. Not everyone, but some of his analyzing experiments get launched. The imaginary illusionary fantasy part of his awakes and gives rise to different products in his mind besides some useful by products.

Each relationship has a time frame, which might had been decided before hand or decided by the situations the relationship grows/ falls into. Usually, the time frame is till the purpose has been served to either one or both the individuals involved in the relationship. But there are some relationships which don’t stand for a purpose. There are some relations which have no purpose element at the backdrop. It has affection, care, love and pamper element.In this relation, there is just the affection and love element and there's no more added element involved in this kind of relations. Relation between a parent and child, relation between siblings, relation between a happy couple , relation between best friends do stand on as examples for this kind of relations.

The everything you try to involve in , may be a relationship, a thing for which you are really desperate of, any attempt for a big achievement for which you are desperate in your life, its Only when you realize the reason behind your want, which shows your desperateness to achieve it. The stronger your reason to achieve the desired thing, the more desperate you are to achieve it.

Of all the relations , the purest is between a mother and child. the tenderness , the purity ,the insanity which exists between a mother for his/her child cannot be observed anywhere. Just observe the affection of a mother when the child is ill or been hurt. The worry element on her shows the extent and degree of the motherness. The care of her on the child is heavenly ,In fact defining the motherness and the mother’s affection in a single word wouldn’t be possible. motherness is the quality of a goddess which tries to fulfill every wish or boon of the child ,though the wish is impossible to fulfill for her.

The next comes , the relationship between a father and the child. The father tries to be the guide of the child till the end of the journey ,chiding him sometimes to resist him from going into the wrong paths, helping him sometimes in the difficulties ,inspiring him sometimes. He is the caretaker of the child’s career , the guiding hand. Though sometimes the form of relationship differs from a father & daughter and a father & son , but at the end the things are very close to differentiate.

The relationship between siblings is one of its kind. They fight, laugh, talk ,share secrets which cannot be shared with parents (sometimes some thoughts cannot be revealed to parents). There is a lot of friendship element in the siblings relation. The transparency appears so well in the relation. The chemistry between them is really amazing.

Though being in such a hearty relations, the male element still strives for the female element(sometimes the flip side of it also happens), and the transformation in his thinking can be noticed. Even the transformation in his thoughts and thinking follows a particular law which hasn’t been discovered yet. (I am in serious search and research for that law, so that to find it out and grab the Nobel ) The possessiveness and intimacy towards the counterpart increases exponentially. Then the actual drama begins. The law is – the mindset of the male fraction complete depends on the response of female fraction towards him and the reaction of her towards him proportionately and exponentially influences the mindset of male fraction after the response. The half life concept is also applicable to this poor guy. The decay of him is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol he consumes. [:D]

If the result is at least partially affirmative , the amount of time he wastes doing crap is really a fast and high going skyscraper with respect to time.…similar to the curve of a fast growing software MNC like GOOGLE or YAHOO. The heart starts taking control on him leaving the poor brain behind.

In fact every common guy wants heart to rule over rather than the intelligent mind or brain. We tend to give a little soft corner to heart rather than brain. May be this is because heart makes us to do what we like without applying any logistics , reasoning and all, rather like brain which tends to do everything logically. Just like in a theory, where in there are ideal and practical cases, Heart can be attributed to ideal case, we love to follow them , but in most of the cases they don’t happen. At the maximum, the result tends to be maximized( near ideal)giving optimized efficiency. On the other side, the thoughts of mind are practical, can be applied and can give you results when applied with brain, reasoning etc. Still we go with heart rather than with mind. Poor mind always turns up on the loosing lonely side when compared to heart.

This experience ( the whirl he had fallen in) if stays for a long time, post effect teaches him to be practical and logical(after the failure) .This way the things go on. Therefore, We should try to analyze and introspect over the things once in a while , but repeated analyzing makes us confused ( more than we actually are) and frustrated. Just try to live the life and introspect it once in a while. Have one or two friends who can bear you and hear you[:)] till the end of the journey. Relations have a lot of significance in the aftermath , so try to keep the relations as healthy as possible.

Finally, Just live the life, if you are feared to analyze it.

JUST............ LIVE LIFE,STOP ANALYZING.

PS:Thoughts flowing in mind.These thoughts are post CAT .Any kind of regret or gloomy element in me makes to blog.Actually when things are gloomy , you do only two B's. The first is blogging and second is......(You might have guessed) .These are really great remedies to vent out your crap. Thoughts iterating in the mind again and again but no solution to these thoughts even after infinite iterations.Have a number of hopes and aspirations but donno know when gotta have them fulfilled. I wish, i have a TIME MACHINE so that i can discern my future and try to have control on it instead of analyzing the future.(:D)

CONCEAL to CONSOLATION

She looks damn pretty when she makes dumb face gesturing with hands, biting her lips trying to explain that she has no idea of the thing, she is being asked. She is really my life. The oxygen. I just cannot imagine my life without her. I cannot forget all the dreams I have of her. I cannot forget all the moments I have spent with her. The walks in the rain, the coffees with her, the time with her in the college, in the canteens, where I ,having a romantic and flirty conversation with her, and then the entire tone was perturbed by my friends who just don’t have any other work except wasting time hanging at canteens disturbing people cracking their so called jokes(they are completely in humorous and 100% injurious), the movies I went along with her(I am so unlucky that they didn’t left us here too, making my life miserable, though she was comfortable to their jokes, I was getting irritated to the highest degree biting my teeth plotting to kill one of them, so that I can get my privacy back), the jaunts to temple along with her(I am a complete atheist and she is completely my contrary, the great god believer I suppose on this earth, in fact , if God prioritizes a boon according to the piousness, I bet she may top the list) , the long chats with her at night where I used to ring her up every night. I am really poor at remembering dates and numbers(I have forgotten some very important birthdays), but the moment I was in love with her, I used to remember the time ,date, and the number of times we met at a particular place .(the analysis of these things shows, how crap you become when you fall in love).I used to watch the astrology everyday on television, used to read astrology in the newspaper, and used to do every crap possible which makes me, think of me along with her. The moment I think of her, it made me remember of some number which had the crappiest significance.

It was the fare well day where I almost confessed my concealed thoughts, kudos to the little amount of vodka , which tried to kill the coward in me and give birth to a valiant chap. All the things went well , and when it was my turn to the get on to the podium, I with my dancing legs(of the vodka),stand still on the stage, tried to bring out my emotions, but seeing the whole crowd in front of me , I went numb. I saw her giving a kind of blush( Omen :) ) , but feared of the negative consequences(which I cannot digest) , I got zipped completely.

I regretted like hell for not expressing my feelings. Its been two years now and we are in two completely different places, million miles apart. I , doing my masters in science at harvards while she was doing her masters in business administration at IIM-Lucknow. The things are very comforted now ,chaps to the networking world which made the things so easier, so easier to vent out the emotions, frustrations , thoughts, dreams, desires and…..

She was really passionate about becoming an entrepreneur , that too in FMCG sector. I remember , I used to banter " you look more a saleswoman than an entrepreneur". I loved the way she gets angry on me when I say this. I called her ." I am coming next week", ms. Saleswoman. This time she didn’t got angry and instead was jumping with joy .

I had many candle light dinners and dates, they seem so common in US, while this was certainly special to both of us.(at least for me). The ambiance was just perfect to settle in. The light was just perfect, provided along with enough privacy(I was happy of the privacy as I don’t used to get privacy with her that easily :D ).We talked long, very long. We talked about our college days, friends, her parents, about her masters, about my masters. In short , past, present and the future. Now we are about to end up with each other in a month. We are getting tied into the so called social custom called nuptials(marriage) and are really keyed up to push our plans.

We planned for a get together with our friends during graduation , we throwed a party together, and we all people met discussing the crap ,the things we are up to, the shit things we have done till now .I am gonna party later in the night along with my friends, venting my emotions , post vodka( :) ).

That’s the end of the long boring story.

Moral :

Its actually complete fiction but still tries to throw some moral, so catch it. Be patient enough to convey your thoughts .You would get enough chances to convey them , but conveying them at the right time is important. Both of the persons should be in an intimate relation, where the words should not play a major role the tacit ness should itself becomes a language to communicate, you will understand everything of each other so well, and the implications itself would suggest you of the further future consequences.

PS; All the characters in this post are imaginary and any resemblance with anybody is purely co-incidential.( :) ).I couldn’t found a better theme and so compromised to a routine love story. Hope , my attempt is at least satisfactory.

ANGEL................

your love is like a star,
shining in my heart,
lightening up my life, its true, girlll,
i never felt this way before,
i keep want it more and more,
what would life be, without you girl.


you shown me the love i have never seen,
you like an angel in my sweetest dream,
you have given me my world,
i couldnt find you out, my girl,
iam not able to see anything real,
i know,no love would love this.


oh my, oh my ,
i never wanna say you goodbye
how much you mean to me,
i realize, i realize.
come babe, baby come close,
i may never gonna let you go,
how much you mean to me, do you knowwwwwww...


you have shown me the love i have never seen
you like an angel in my sweetest dream,
you have given me my world,
i couldnt find you out , my girl,
iam not able to see anything real,
i know,no love would love this.


you are the girl i have been living for,
i dont want to lose anything more,
just be my life and bear me once more,
so that i can repent for all, i have been regretting for.......................






PS: when you are real confused to do something, the poetic hormone(if it exists)
in you makes you to write complete crap. I couldnt convey the thoughts and emotions in right proportion, but wanted to put it over here,so bear this.Sometimes you find it difficult to choose between choice by chance or chance by choice and then things will......(lite le lol).I will wind up here,dont want to irritate and confuse you much more than you already are... :)

THE YOUNG GUNS OF INDIA

Things are going real fast and the competition among the things is getting stiffer and stiffer. People are striving for the best of the things available and are trying to be the best. All this shows that people are getting real smart and sensible and are trying to reach to the Pinnacle in the field they are striving for. The generation present seems to be a lot more sensible and smart than the past generations. The COMPROMISE element is no where visible in the present generation which is a good sign showing their undying determination.

In this run to reach the best, the people are running off from the morals and ethics. Money, vitamin-m , is being considered the supreme power. People are trying all the good and bad means to accomplish the desired thing without the consideration of morals , ethics and values. Love is getting defined only in the lust sense, and the compassion is losing value in this edition of the present world. The definition of mankind is being manipulated .

Its not like that things are going completely wrong but things can be done much better than they are now. The younger generation really has that potential to set the things right , but they are getting off track because of the illusions which give short term pleasure. They should think of the things at a much larger scale, which is probably missing.

The outcomes of the things should be considered at a bigger scale with broad mindedness. The aftermath element should be taken into the consideration for the things you do. Compassion should be treated the ultimate religion. Religion has nothing to with caste and creeds, the bloody barriers, but this term is of much higher plane. Learning up from life and thinking reasonably and logically, helping people, being compassionate is the Universal religion.

The youth now if they don’t get deviated by the fantasies can really show there bang and eradicate the problems we are facing.. Poverty, hunger , ill health, corruption are the root causes which are backing us from being developed. Every doctor has the potential of exterminating the problem of ill health. every rich enterpreneur can take a hand in solving the problem of poverty.we should get concious of the most common thing that every IAS officer has the potential of controlling the factor of corruption. Every minister has the capability of controlling these problems. But the bigger problem is , we are not striving hard enough to get rid of these devil factors. Instead we are getting corrupted and contributing to the make the solution for this problem complex and difficult.

If we really work from heart hard enough , these problems really don’t require any five year plans and all, allotting them a specific budget.

Ultimately working hard with compassion is the mantra to be followed to make this world much more beautiful and livelier place to live in..

PS: i know i really go nuts when i try to crap something senssible or something which requires sense...par kya karoon...aadat se mazboor hoon.....

on a more serious note, i think the young guns of inida should really show their guts and leave their footprints behind...........

HALF TO COMPLETE...........

I am almost half dead.

The thoughts were still bogging in my mind and I was still in complete shock . Why did the things went so wrong .Where did it went wrong. In fact I was questioning myself with all the different kind of pronouns (why, where , how , what etc.). It was two in the late night and I was along with my friends. I was really sad and was really feeling to cry and bring out my pain and sorrow that time but seeing that there is no one who can really understand my pain, I just kept on filling my void with the alcohol. I was really crying inside but couldn’t let out my pain. I was feeling like an Adam without any Eve or a soul without any companion of an intimate soul, desiring to burst out my emotions. people all around me were dancing with joy , while I was in no mood to celebrate my trounce over there.

I was in confused state of mind. Mind and heart were really going abnormal, so I thought of taking a wise decision of keeping my thoughts aside for a while and celebrate along with my friends. The alcohol took control in the case of rohit and was making him dance upside down and he tumbled awkwardly falling on his face.

I was virtually dying for a cigarette .I opened the cigarette pack, but there was not even a single one in it. I had an impression that fagging makes you think more, better and wise. I went out for cigarettes with my friend on my motorcycle. While akshay was driving, my mind was trying to process out the algorithm of the scenario, from the start till the end to bring out the loopholes .I couldn’t find anything but was still trying to find out something of the nothing. Akshay killed the engine and we were again with our great buddies- vodka and cigarette.

Now the alcohol was taking control on me too and I instantly picked up my mobile and dialed the most dialed number on my mobile. It was ringing loud but there was no response. I got reminded of the past where we used to talk about the language of souls and omen and used to say to each other that if one really thinks of someone from heart, the person on the other side will respond instantly .

At that instant, I really felt, there cannot be a much bigger toxin than our past itself, there cannot be a bigger devil, bigger enemy than our bloody past. It tortures you the every present minute of yours making your life miserable. I sent her a 3 or 4 short messages conveying my deep thoughts clearly. It wasn’t me actually. The alcohol inside me was trying to be my helping hand but the crap non-living thing really didn’t had any idea of the fatal outcome which was about to come.

Time got 2 in the afternoon the next day and I was in a hang over. I was feeling a strong hammer being hit on my head sporadically. I tried to find out my mobile and I saw an sms which blew me completely. Anshita committed suicide. My whole world shattered into pieces. I went out to her home and saw her corpse lying down. I just couldn’t make out what to do and tears rolled down my cheeks. I came out in a short while and I tried to find out the reasons of her giving life imprisonment to me. Asha, whom I knew quite well , the closest pal of Anshitha came to me and handed over her suicidal letter.

She commited suicide because she was not able to decide between her parents and me. Her parents actually warned her of me and I, the stupid was upset of her because she was not intimate to me from past few days .She could not handle the pressure of her parents and at the same time was feeling guilty for not responding to my constant calls, meetings. Her parents actually emotionally blackmailed her saying they would eventually commit suicide if she doesn’t listens to them. My poor Anshitha crumbled to these circumstances and gave me enough pain( than it was yesterday) to live the whole life thinking, listening, feeling, crying dying her. Now I am complete dead.

PS: i was actually thinking of giving my try on a tragical love story.i felt writing it after seeing a friends blog...... .I had no idea of the theme but things got formed as i started crapping in.I started at 1.30 and now its 3.3o. I hope my attempt is atleast satisfactory.

waiting for the comments for my first tragic attempt to a tragical lav story.

CAT-- ER--PILLAR

Hmmmmm
what to say,exactly one year back I was one of the frantic aspirants of CAT….joined the coaching ,did all the loudening,full hyped,just similar to the celebration festives that happens to a scapegoat.

--------------------------------------CAT-05--------------------------------------------------------

I woke up quite early today at around 5.00 . I struggled to get out of the chains of laziness , i guess with the strange gestures of mine. I was waiting for the newspaper boy to deliver the paper. The newspaper guy hasn’t arrived yet, so tried to check over the last two or three days back newspaper. I saw a cat paper model in education plus column.I tried to solve one or two problems feeling that this would give me a warm up to the exam. I solved a passage, 3 or 4 quants, and a DI set if I can remember. Time was around 6.30 now , and the newspaper arrived .I saw an article regarding cat,1.75 lacs people writing cat hoping for the creamy pays any guy would dream to. I closed the column after reading a bit of it and started looking over metro plus and page-3.Things were boring there , so stopped reading newspaper and started listening to some soothing linkin park tracks and A R Rahmans.

Time was getting 7 now and so i had a shower and had an ok kinda breakfast .The time was 8 and as my conveyance was sucking bloody APSRTC bus, so went out to bus stop by 8.2o, and caught the bus.A kind of funny incident happened over there. A serious aspirant of CAT met me over there. He was damn nervous just like a nerd on the first eve of his marriage. His legs were shaking .He was infact pronouncing his centre instead of saying his destination. Poor guy. I Had an ok kind of tete-a-tete with him and by then I was at my cat centre at around 9.20 and there were till some 10 minutes left . I had some tittle-tattle with my seniors over there.

I went to the hall to face the music of the most talked, most hyped exam that is the DEVIL CAT. I entered my room and checked over my place. As the instructions were about to be delivered ,i noticed that there was angel kind of girl sitting in parallel to me ,the next bench, just next to me. The exam started and I did some quant of around 40 minutes. Though I had no idea of the pattern , I noticed three sections been given , so allotted 40 minutes to each section. As I felt that ,quant was my strong section, i started over doing the quant sums.I was feeling damn lazy. I did sum 40 odd minutes of quant and next tried to attempt an RC passage.I was held back by the acts of the angel like gal sitting behind me. Her beautiful hair were repeatedly falling over her ear and she was trying to put them back, sometimes with her hand and sometimes with a hairband. She wasn’t doing the test seriously(I felt it after , she wasting around 10 minutes for setting up her hair )I was distracted and started noticing her cute acts and by then I already wasted 10 minutes looking at her. After it , I started looking over the passage and everything was going way above my head and and even the pronouns in the passage were difficult to grasp. I attempted 2 or 3 questions for the sake, though not being sure for any of them.I attempted some jumbled sentences,and then attempted a 1 marker set in DI and a 2 mark set. The test got done and in short time , announcement of leaving the hall took place.

I was in a hurry and was trying hard to look for the angel . Alas I missed her and couldnt found her any where. I gave a thought to the things for around 2 minutes and then told to me...LITE LE LOL…….

Post cat; attempted 31 questions worth 42 marks, Scored a good percentile of 96 in maths ,70 in DI and a filthy 33 in EU/RC.(L), missed the angelL :( :(

PS: Done with my semester exams and the management entrances , and now being completely at leisure, its making me, pen over the every crap.I must say you should crap everything that comes to your mind, cos

1. you may forget the precious things and moments, if you dont crap all the things, which you may regret a lot.
   
2. It improves your analyzing habit(its my opinion completely)
   
3. Its fun..LOL...passing your time when you are completely unoccupied.